JOTD

How did that route get that name? Jokes. Funny bits. Crag humour.
Chris F
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Re: JOTD

Postby Chris F » Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:20 pm

16 sodium atoms walk into a pub.

Followed by Batman.

clickbutt
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Re: JOTD

Postby clickbutt » Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:03 pm

The actual number of atoms is controversial though: http://xkcd.com/851/

Ghaznavid
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Re: JOTD

Postby Ghaznavid » Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:31 am

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"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly

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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:15 am

I would like to thank my legs for supporting me,my arms for being by my side and lastly my fingers because I can always count on them.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, I thought to myself. "This changes everything!"

I went to listen to the Bermuda philharmonic, half way through the guy on the triangle disappeared.

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it.
You never know when you might need a nail....

Askhole:a person who constantly asks your advice, but does the complete opposite.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
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Ghaznavid
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Re: JOTD

Postby Ghaznavid » Mon Oct 06, 2014 9:08 pm

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100"
"I don't follow"
"She is a perfect 10, but unfortunately she is also imaginary"
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly

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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:32 am

I wish I hadn't been so critical on the Lego forum earlier. They've blocked me.
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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:31 am

Escape From Table Mountain - Cape Town
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Ghaznavid
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Re: JOTD

Postby Ghaznavid » Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:40 pm

A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and are great cooks.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited....
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly

Ghaznavid
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Re: JOTD

Postby Ghaznavid » Wed Nov 19, 2014 7:56 pm

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"Excuse me sir, you are not allowed to invade our country without a TS713 form approved by the minister of homeland security"
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly

Ghaznavid
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Re: JOTD

Postby Ghaznavid » Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:00 pm

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"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly

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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Tue Dec 09, 2014 8:30 am

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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Mon Dec 15, 2014 11:29 am

Was late to my first Fight Club so missed the intro. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.

50% of people who win the lottery return to work the next day.... to tell their boss to F@#$ off.

I think the guy who invented Tipp-Ex made a mistake
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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:20 pm

For sale: Homeless man...
Still in the box.

Was late to my first Fight Club so missed the intro. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.
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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Mon Mar 02, 2015 11:03 am

Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "How the heck do you drive this?"

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said....."Sorry, my fault."

I went to the art museum the other day, I really enjoyed it and took lots of pictures. I need bail.

Waterboarding at Guantánamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Fri Mar 06, 2015 2:20 pm

I wonder if Superman ever put his glasses on Lois Lane's dog and she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"

Traffic Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me: "My love of riddles"?

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Houdini
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Re: JOTD

Postby Houdini » Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:36 pm

Bruce Wayne clearly wasn't a climber
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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:29 am

Nandos Diversity Add - that didn't make it to TV :)

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Justin
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Re: JOTD

Postby Justin » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:30 pm

I never believed wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture, but now, I stand corrected.

The police want to interview me, which is strange, as I didn't even apply for a job there.

Decaffeinated coffee does wake you up.
You just have to spill it on your lap.

Is it strange how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how strange it is?
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Stefan Smeda
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Re: JOTD

Postby Stefan Smeda » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:49 pm

What's Chris Sharma's Favorite Volkswagon?

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