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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:45 pm
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Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
16 sodium atoms walk into a pub.

Followed by Batman.


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:08 pm
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Real Name: Louis Louw
The actual number of atoms is controversial though: http://xkcd.com/851/


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:31 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
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Real Name: Jonathan
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"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:15 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
I would like to thank my legs for supporting me,my arms for being by my side and lastly my fingers because I can always count on them.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, I thought to myself. "This changes everything!"

I went to listen to the Bermuda philharmonic, half way through the guy on the triangle disappeared.

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it.
You never know when you might need a nail....

Askhole:a person who constantly asks your advice, but does the complete opposite.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 9:08 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
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Real Name: Jonathan
"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100"
"I don't follow"
"She is a perfect 10, but unfortunately she is also imaginary"

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:32 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
I wish I hadn't been so critical on the Lego forum earlier. They've blocked me.

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:31 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Escape From Table Mountain - Cape Town

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:40 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Posts: 363
Real Name: Jonathan
A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and are great cooks.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited....

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2014 7:56 pm 
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Real Name: Jonathan
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"Excuse me sir, you are not allowed to invade our country without a TS713 form approved by the minister of homeland security"

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:00 pm 
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Real Name: Jonathan
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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 8:30 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2014 11:29 am 
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Real Name: Justin Lawson
Was late to my first Fight Club so missed the intro. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.

50% of people who win the lottery return to work the next day.... to tell their boss to F@#$ off.

I think the guy who invented Tipp-Ex made a mistake

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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:20 pm 
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
For sale: Homeless man...
Still in the box.

Was late to my first Fight Club so missed the intro. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 11:03 am 
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "How the heck do you drive this?"

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said....."Sorry, my fault."

I went to the art museum the other day, I really enjoyed it and took lots of pictures. I need bail.

Waterboarding at Guantánamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 2:20 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
I wonder if Superman ever put his glasses on Lois Lane's dog and she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"

Traffic Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me: "My love of riddles"?


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:36 pm 
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Real Name: HannoB
Bruce Wayne clearly wasn't a climber


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 Post subject: Re: JOTD
PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:29 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
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Location: Montagu
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Nandos Diversity Add - that didn't make it to TV :)


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