How did that route get that name? Jokes. Funny bits. Crag humour.
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Desperate Dan


Post by Desperate Dan » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:16 am

What do I need to do to belayed?

GI Joe

Post by GI Joe » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:16 am

First get your self a top of the range harness, a new set of quickdraws some flashy climbing shoes and a new rope then maybe, you will beLayed.

Dom I Naticks

Post by Dom I Naticks » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:17 am

To GI Joe: only if you are into that kinky vertical stuff. Yum bring on the Ice axes and spiky stuff....

papa bear

Post by papa bear » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:17 am

I heard that apparently it is best to belayed by Italian chicks. They have excellent reflexes and are good with their hands...

silver fox

Post by silver fox » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:17 am

Once I was belayed by a tall blonde Norwegian lady. That was nice.

Mean Mr Custard

Post by Mean Mr Custard » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:18 am

A flashy BMW will also help if want to BeLayed or the other option is to pretend to be a brick

Very Desperate Dan

Post by Very Desperate Dan » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:18 am

It's NOT working!!

silver fox

Post by silver fox » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:18 am

Try looking for suitable partners at your local gym. Often you can get beLayed there


Post by d » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:19 am

go bouldering - you have to beat the chicks off with a stick.

GI joe

Post by GI joe » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:19 am

Last i heard it was hard to beLayed while Bouldering.

Papa Bear

Post by Papa Bear » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:19 am

Then your best bet is to go bouldering with chicks, you get to watch them flash, while you spot

beta belayer

Post by beta belayer » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:19 am

STEPS TO GETTING BELAYED: 1. Find the right partner with the right tools. 2. Get tied down. 3. Make sure to use a locking biner the skrewing kind is the best. 4. Carefully spot check your partners rack 5. Make sure you use addequate protection 6. Make sure your eyes never leave your partner during those crux moments 7. Remember to continually shout words of encouragement. 8. ......


Post by Jen » Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:20 am

If u wanna beLayed, crawl up a chickens bum and wait!


Post by futsi » Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:23 am

you will belayed at the stellenbosch perfect wall for a little fee by staff members...


Post by Sfink » Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:21 pm

Maybe you should take up soloing bru?At least it is more safe and cheaper.......

Post by » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:54 pm

It would seem as though you’ve plenty of advise on how to get to the point where you may beLAYED, thing is now…do you know or perhaps even remember what you are in for, for when you do get to beLAYED???

First of all as you have already been warned make sure your rack is adequately suited for the crack at hand this is very important!!

Secondally does the crack at hand suit your preferred style as there are many cracks out there and no one crack is the same as another.
Fortunately I have had the opportunity of benLAYED (form above and below in fact) many times before. So fortunately for you I can give you some advise and share some of wisdom and hands in experience with different types of cracks you are likely to encounter…

The Finger crack - Nothing nicer or more satisfying than sinking your fingers into a beautiful, tight, clean (by this I mean very little or no vegetation) crack!! This is by far the most enjoyable of all cracks around.

Hand Jamming - these cracks are often found to be slightly more vegetated than the finger cracks for some reason, this is perhaps due to the more traditional/natural style of the climbing, some love it and some hate it, it depends what your into I guess…

Fist jamming – just plain sick if you ask me. Definitely not one of the best situations to belayed in… but hey… what ever floats your boat…

Lastly the Off-width - protection here is totally hopeless it just doesn’t seem to fit unless your equipped with a really ‘big bro’. It has a tendency to want to spit you out all the time. This type of crack involves a lot more technique than what you would initially think. However… conquering such a crack can be quit fulfilling and will involve copious amounts of thrashing about and will more than likely sap every bit of energy from your body…

god just imagine a flaring off-width :? don’t think I’ve encountered one of those before

Few more handy hints before get laid…
Ensure you have good protection just before you get to the crux move. If you choose to go through the crux with dodgy protection you may suffer the consequences
For your own sake don’t to get your nuts stuck in any cracks! Parting with such valuable gear leaves stories for other people tell.

hey guys please let me know if I have left out any important info...
many thanks and good luck dan


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Post by Jane » Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:44 pm

From a woman’s point of view I can add a few more tips on this matter…

Technique is of utmost importance if you wish to be beLayed by the same person more than just once. Belaying requires considerable non-verbal communication between the people involved as correct speed and safety are essential. Finger or hand placements must be done with absolute confidence and precision – remember, you have a reputation to uphold. Never lose concentration on the matter at hand, or you could lose your beLayer - for life.

One last thing for you to take with you… Practice. The more you practice belaying, the better your chances of finding the perfect belayer.. :wink:

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Post by timmy » Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:32 pm

Last edited by timmy on Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
\"If you don't break your ropes while you're alive do you think ghosts will do it after?\" -

Post by » Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:29 pm

Cum on Timmy... she said: \"Technique is of utmost importance\".... that was a cheap shot

It should be more like:

\"Hey Jane you sound like a thorough belayer, very tentative and very sure of yourself. I find this very appealing. It all adds to the comfort of having your tentative hands on the end of my live wire. Your ways of non-verbal communication sounds vertically enhancing. A project I’d like to experience with you… hands-on. By the way, where would where your favorite crag be and what do you enjoy climbing most…cracks or panicles, or are you laid-back enough to enjoy them both.
I would be honored with your presence for a route (the auzzie kind of root). You name the spot. Just to let you know that my rack is well please... fear not of lousy protection\"

Catch you on the crag sweetie


Post by » Thu Nov 03, 2005 5:57 am

Well fanta, You sound like a man with a lot of confidence in your tallent and equipment.

Hope Desperate Dan is taking notes. At the end of the day, what really counts is finding the most effective possition to beLay from... a challenge that i'd love to take on, Fanta :wink:

See ya in the crag

Its all about (at)tension

Post by » Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:44 pm

Sorry to say Fanta, but I have a suspicion that you might be so pre-occupied with the size of your own equipment that your attention during belaying is not condusive to your partner reaching the crux. There is nothing worse than being ignored while being belayed, and this can lead to one or other partner being dropped.

Remember its not the size of your rack that counts, but what you do with it. If you stop thinking with your nuts you might find not only better positions with friends (though you sound like the traditional type), but that your protection and performance are improved too.

Focus - good belaying is all about the right degree of tension.


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